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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2006|08:23 pm]
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]
[Current Music |rhcp]

so its been a while.

i must say it has.

i have been reading old entries and thinking back.

and i am so uber emo
i miss those times in a way.
i mean not the way you may think.

but i was talking to an old friend tonight and i told her how i miss her and the old atlantic. and i started to realize how much i miss a lot of things.

i miss so much and i cant believe i am a junior. i mean it feels like 2 seconds ago i was a sophomore and i had friends to meet between classes and not many people on bad terms and inside jokes and funny things.
and then i blinked
i cant say i have had a horrid time. i have had great times. and big letdowns. and big excitements. but i guess the grass is always greener on the other side, right?
i love alot of aspects about my life now. like my family and josh. and i have more of an understanding and am less naive. but i feel like i have lost alot.

i miss brittany blais alot. i wish this summer hadnt happened the way it did. two entries before this one i was saying how she and i were going to havign a great summer. and we didnt. we had far from a summer together.

I guess God intends it to be that way.
i just want a friend who will say i am her best friend and give me her stuff and loan me clothes and like the stuff i say and laugh about

i am tired of feeling lost and stupid

well thats it for tonight i hope tomoros ltm will be better than my last.

<3 amanda

ps i miss my dad
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(no subject) [May. 6th, 2005|03:47 pm]
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]
[Current Music |LUCKY YOU (lost prophets)]

sometimes i feel as if the whole world is laughing at me

but nevermind that, just know that there is a great weekend in store for you all.

that part in that movie (i wont say which)is replaying in my head....
where julia roberts is chasing after the guy and he is chasing after cameron diaz.
and julia roberts is on the phone and her phone friend says "dont you see? he is chasing her and you are chasing him and no one is behind you!"
but my point is: unlike any other hollywood movie she doesnt get the guy.

i feel like i have so many situations where i havent been that girl getting pursued or i have been the one on the sidelines, backburner, or the back end of the chase. and i am tired of it; wearing my heart on my sleeve, or allowing myself to be lifted up only to be let down, and not even in a gentle way. in the way where i lay spralled on the floor broken.


i feel like this journal is just not worth spending time on anymore. atleast not for a while.
i am tired of venting in it, or letting out my problems for anyone to read. i need to be more confidential though so i guess this is the last entry in mandababe4. and i mean it this time.

peace the fuck out,
amanda helaine mistretta
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(no subject) [May. 5th, 2005|04:12 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |sugar, we're going down]

ha! i think the last entry was definately commented out so i thought it was time for another one

i cant believe tommorow  begins a brand new weekend. woosh this week went by so quickly

i dont know what i am doing for definate this weekend i do hear of many parties and sunday is mother s day

other than that i dont know.

school is pretty good. my grades are all great excluding chem, but thats nothing unusual.

and theres a boy on my mind. mostly everyone knows who he is, they have seen us walking around the halls or such. i am not implying anything besides the fact that he is definately on my mind a lot a lot.

are you reading this sugar?  

OC two hours is tonight. not that i will watch but everyone else will. for i am sure of this.

i will probly get no comments here. but yea.  

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guess what? i have a little something to say. [May. 3rd, 2005|03:31 pm]
[Current Mood |ditzyditzy]
[Current Music |Ataris]

To The People:

So I hear that certain individuals have viewed something written on my journal and/or myspace, and were not too pleased, huh? This message goes out to them. I want you to know that I am not sorry and I dont need to be lectured. And if you dont like me or care what I think then dont bother reading my journal filled with my own personal thoughts. I want you to know that from now and further more I do not care if you like or hate me. I want everyone to be happy and satisfied and there is always that hope in my mind that people all should get along with one another. I guess its been misunderstood, yes I dont want drama, but I can still say what I want. No one can control that. And yes you are right I am a bitch.


peace out homies <3amanda


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check this shit out [Apr. 29th, 2005|05:03 pm]
[Current Mood |refreshedrefreshed]
[Current Music |sugarcult]

hola mi amigos
we are about to start a glorious weekend
dont knock it, seriously, we need to have a good time

school is okay, nothing great happened today
i heard some gossip that blew way out of the world
and all i can say is to those people use a condom
which led me and alyssa castor to a conversation about being virgins
which i guess i should be proud of?
since i am guessing no one has ever had that strong of feelings for me before
but i am still young here.

so i think tonight i am going to hang out with courtney and danielle and whoever else
it will be fun
i hope it gets this boy off my mind that i cant stop thinking of,
and it hurts because yet again this one wont be able to return the feelings.
i am not hurt tho its all good

well i only have an hour to prepare
so i best be on my way
i hope you are happy. to be honest. i wish that for everyone

i think you should check this out just to get a piece of mind: http://www.livejournal.com/users/letsmakea_scene/ and if it means anything to you comment if not exit and dont think twice

i love you, but you dont love me

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You constantly make it impossible to have conversation keep us comatose, yet audible [Apr. 27th, 2005|03:51 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]
[Current Music |tbs]

i just got home from school.
i am tired. scratch that. EXHAUSTED.
and i have cramps and back pains. ouch!

i am about to enjoy a long bath or shower. or both.
and then maybe i may drive to pick up courtney wilder.
[i havent had a friend here in a long while]

school is school.
i guess my grades are good excluding chem.
but i will bring it up!

yesterday i hung out with my friend josh,
he's something alright.
i think we are becoming good friends. but i never know with people these days.

its weird how warped people are.

i want to hang out with courtney or paulina this weekend.

today i took responsibility for something that really wasnt all my responsibility but i think that it was the right thing to do. it just showed me who is truly my friend and i care for.

COOKIE! BABE I LOVE YOU (i hate these corny shoutouts but really) and if anyone thinks one thing bad of her for no reason then you should think again she is one of the sweetest beautiful people i have met and i am tired of people ragging on her. so when someone blames her for something she didnt do and makes false accusations i will have her back. especially when i am partially responsible.

but and quote me here i am not a liar. i never left one of those anonymous comments. i guess those were people hating. and i wanted to stop it awhile ago. but i wasnt in full control of decision.

i guess i was wrong to do that one boring friday, but you know i am not sorry.

LIGHT BULB! try to live in harmony

and if you dont like me then exit my journal and dont get huffy.

<3 amanda
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good things come to those who wait [Apr. 25th, 2005|11:33 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |brand new]

so i am waiting.
if anyone noticed i cut about 5inches+ off my hair.
its just hair, but its different.

in may i am supposed to meet a special guy and our relationship with atleast last through june.
but then again this is according to my horoscopes in a few magazines.
but anything is possible

i made a new friend recently
they teach me new things in a weird way

tomoro is a tuesday.
oh boy i cannot wait.

but then again i cannot wait for anyday

we keep looking at cars. maybe soon i will drive it home?

til then mom has agreed to give me money to give ppl for gas to drive me places.

how lovely. i love that woman

as a reminder do sumthign special for your mom her day is coming up may 8th. dont forget

much love,
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2005|11:24 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |fsdjfsf]

i am so tired of those who succomb to act like others surrounding them

i know so much that i could burst i could tell you now

so many instances of being lied to in the last month

there are people i really fucking wouldnt mind never ever seeing again

i think you know who you are.

and just everyone be urself

today was a good day

i got things off my chest with micah; heard alot of interesting things.

and no i am not "raving on"

if you think so exit out of my journal. i feel like that girl is gone. just things you wouldnt get. this

made me feel accomplished even juanita praised me.

i wonder if she knows how she was my best friend for so long and was the only friend i loved enough to


i hope so.

i made a new friend and got something that will be great when i get an automobile

i am not going out tonight so if you call sorry i didnt answer

i love you all.

sometimes i just dont like you very much.

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stolen from just nikki [Apr. 9th, 2005|03:15 pm]
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]
[Current Music |FALL OUT BOY]

I'm Amanda.
Don't forget it. (i'll be quizzing you later)
tendancy to be anti-social
sometimes i am TOO nice
lipgloss whore ♥
sometimes takes things too seriously
shy & outgoing
mostly organized
i am frequently sarcastic
i get jealous easy. but i don't show it
moves lips alot
wish i was more confident
says stupid things
sometimes smiles and laughs for no reason
hopeless romantic
loves sweet smellin stuff
loves to listen to music
hates rejection
craves attention
bite my nails when bored or nervous
sometimes i get hyper for no reason
sometimes a complainer
gets attached too easily
sleeps all day
selfish; when i need to be.
easily amused
hugs not drugs
loves to sing
blushes easily
obsessed w/the color pink
trips alot
loves to spend money
extremely emotional
smile and laugh easily
like it my way
look down when i walk
can be annoying
stubborn and bratty
can come off as a bitch
take it or leave it because thats just me
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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2005|09:49 pm]
quote of the week:

HELPLESS TOURIST: "excuse me! can you tell me where the nearest highway is?"

LOCAL PIMP: "man fuck yo mama!"
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